What do I like sexually? Honestly I couldn't answer the question.
What do I like?
What turns me on?
I've always just wanted sexual approval, and no one has ever really placed my sexual wants first. I'm sure at some points they could have wanted, but me being the way I am, I reply with "whatever you want." If they enjoy it, that means they enjoy me, and I would be allowed to fully enjoy myself.
As of recently I've found I don't really know myself sexually at all. Odd, I know. Since I'm so openly talkative and I write, read, watch it. At a constant observation state, but never actually been in the field of trying. I always have this excuse of "waiting" for the right person I.E. Special person.
Someone I can trust, but in this world and culture made up of "almosts" and "no fucks" finding that person is gonna be hard, and harder still with my career path.
So I am trying out Radical Self Love, and in this area allowing myself the idea that self sexual exploration is not a taboo. I am gonna honestly list, things I have pondered on, and things I wanna try....
First I suppose the things I like, or more ACCURATELY the things I think I might like.
I THINK I LIKE & I LIKES:
(or would like to try)
- Kissing, Oral Play
- Cuddling/Body Worship
- Role Play / Pet, Dressing up maybe
- Bondage/suspension/Handcuffs
- Anal/But Plug ( Deffiantly like, and recently almost climaxed with only anal WHAT)
- Candle Wax/other stuff like food I think
- Human Furniture (looks crazy)
- Erotica Photography ( I love obvy )
- Fire Play/ Ice Cubes
- Spanking/ Light punishment
- Watched Masturbation
- Power Exchange
- Pussy Worship (that sounds super vulnerable but like empowering)
- Being naked in the light, just like free
- Toys
- Self Bondage ( I didn't even know that was a thing!)
- Sex in public
- Talking Dirty (I wanna learn that I don't think I'm very good at talking out loud)
- Fisting (I heard it can be enjoyable Idk though looks painful) {Tried this, or at least attempted, blog up on this later 1.20.17}
- Honestly I think with the right person I could try anything. . .
- Have mystery dildo's tried on me while I'm blind folded hehe
THINGS I'M SCARED OF and won't say yes to:
- Blood Play
- Humiliation
- SlutShamming
- Belt Punishments
- Defilement
- Cunt Torture
- Consensual non consent ( yeah no )
- Emotional Torture
- Those Latex leather outfits, I don't even like wet-suits I don't think I would like that stuff on my body
Ok, so I will confess things that I like that I have tried. I have not had very CRAZY sex life, but I have done a few things that to me at least where exciting.
I like squirting, it took me awhile to come to terms with it, as the first time it happened I said sorry a thousand times and felt so much shame. It's totally normal and it felt really nice also. Just a minute to let myself enjoy it. I had a patient teacher though.
Anal, the first time was fucking bullshit, I tried it and it was honestly kinda just Ew, and pop and felt like... (anyways) 2nd time was actually not that bad, but I WILL NEVER use spit again. It was gross and I don't really like spitting and a ton of saliva. Just grosses me out...
I lllooovvvveee giving head, but more importantly I love learning how the person likes to receive head.
I like people who are more expressive with what I'm doing right, and I was thinking about the most passionate sex I've ever had.
8 hours, and just lost in each other. He had built me up, he made me feel really wanted. How? was actually really simple. He touched me, with out delay, very vocal with his hands, and it was reassuring and kissing, BY FAR is my biggest turn on. Especially french kissing. <3
I found that I really love being touched, I like the slow attention and kisses, so in short foreplay. Though some people just aren't about the passion in foreplay. So I would say I love passionate foreplay.
I haven't really done very much bondage but the twice times I've tried it. I LOVED IT! <3 First was over my clothes with my closest friends in a safe place very light hearted. She lead me around the room and I thoroughly enjoyed being a pet. Nuzzled and up and cuddled after was really fun especially since she knew and understood the importance of after care.
The 2nd time I was tied with my wrists to ankles ass up, and though I was scared. I get silent during sex, I'm actually really shy, especially when doing something new. He took AMAZING care of me! Pillows and clean up and kisses along my backside with telling me how beautiful I was and even made me feel so confident that I let him take a photo of his work and admiration "me". :) That memory is a great one...
After care for me can and will make or break a moment for me, I've had really amazing experiences and then the after care was so lacking and shitty. When I think of those moments, I'm like .... MEH that was shit. I get super turned off about the idea of screwing again.
I have enjoyed sitting on a guys face, and snapchatting us as we fuck was cool. Sent it to ourselves and watched it later. I love shower sex. and Car sex is my most favorite of all.
I love PDA!!!! I love it!!! <3 I never knew till this year what it was really like, and I adore it. It makes me shy at first then its so reassuring and makes me giddy and I instantly wanna please them.
That's actually it. I adore cuddling and gentle touches, I love when I have a great mental relaxation relationship with them. I noticed that the more they verbally assure me of there desire for me. The more I'm willing to really open up <3
I've never talked... well typed openly about this and it feels really crazy doing so. I feel kinda excited and scared that I've now kinda just opened up.
I hope to continue to find the courage to write about things I'm learning sexually about myself.
As well as keep the mental tease going by keeping up the sexual writings as well.
*This was written when I was 22, updated last year, and written this year*
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